I was a Protestant for the twelve years, and the first half of those years I was just a pew sitter. It was not that I was not committed to God. It is just I got much more out of lay ministries than the church scene. I was involved in Campus Crusade For Christ, and I was in a lay ministry called the Hub, which ministered to young Christian singles. I really was not that much into a particular denomination. I did not want to be a Lutheran, a Baptist, or a Methodist. I was just a Christian. I looked down on organized Christianity, which I called “Churchianity”. The church scene just seemed too stuffy, more about programs than having a relationship with God. The church service I found to be boring – three hymns and an hour-long sermon! But most of all, I found churches to be very cold. I remember the first summer I came home. I went to a Bible Church. What attracted me to that church was that it was non-denominational, and I hated denominations. I went to this church for the summer when I came home from college. I went to Sunday School, Sunday morning service, Sunday even service, and mid-week Bible study. And yet nobody bothered to try to talk to me. I got tired of that, so next summer I tried a Methodist Church. But I experienced the same coldness. I did not have the same experience when I went to church when I was at college, because I went with my friends from Campus Crusade For Christ. But aside from my experience in the lay ministries, I did not experience much openness.
I tried to join the professional staff at Campus Crusade. There was a small problem. I believed at that time in “soul sleep”. That is a belief that when we die, we are in a deep state of unconsciousness until the return of Christ. But Campus Crusade taught that a believer’s soul is in a conscious state in heaven with the Lord. My friends tried to persuade me to just accept this, but I felt it was wrong to say I believed in something that I did not believe in. So I was not accepted. Later on, realized I was wrong about “soul sleep”.
After graduating from college, I decided to become a minister. From being a student teacher at Campus Crusade, I realized I had a gift in explaining Biblical truths to people. So I entered a seminary. I chose Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, because it was known as a non-denominational seminary, and I still could not make up my mind what denomination I want to belong.
At that time here is where I stood. I no longer believed in soul-sleep. I was conservative in my beliefs, but I was tolerant in my attitudes. I was avidly pro-life. I believed that tongues and prophesy were still here today, but I did not believe everyone must pray in tongues. Although I believed healings could happen today, I also believed that God did not heal everyone, and that suffering is part of the Christian life. I believed in infant baptism but I believed in free will so I could not a Calvinist. I believed that one can lose his salvation. I also did not believe in the pre-tribulation rapture. So I was in a big dilemma here. In spite of the thousands of denominations out there, there was nothing that fit me. Actually, in looking back, the only church that did fit all my beliefs was the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church has always been pro-life. It has always been open to the charismatic movement, and yet it would not force it on everybody. It teaches that healings are for today (look at Lourdes), but it also teaches that the Cross is part of the Christian life. It believes in free will and that God wills that all should be saved. And the Catholic Church teaches that a Christian can fall from grace. Even then, the Catholic Church was the best fit for me. I was just not willing to accept it at that time. But I needed to make a decision soon on which denomination I should commit. I decided on the Assemblies of God. Whatever denomination I had chosen; I knew I would have to compromise my beliefs. There just was no denomination out there that I could agree with. The Assemblies of God believed that the baptism of the Holy Spirit is a subsequent experience after conversion and that everyone should speak in tongues as evidence of that experience. I did not believe in either of those. But I did strongly believe that some can speak in tongues. I also enjoyed their worship. So I decided to compromise and say I accepted their beliefs. I know - this was wrong to do. But I was tired of trying to find the denomination that I could totally I agree with. I just wanted to be a minister and preach the gospel. I remembered being rejected by Campus Crusade for a belief that I no longer held. So I felt it was not worth it to just hold onto my beliefs. Who knows if tomorrow I believed the same way?
I started to go to an Assemblies of God church, and then I graduated from seminary. I went to my pastor, and I asked if he could use a seminary graduate like me somewhere in the church. So he made me the janitor (What!!!). Well, that was not exactly what I had in mind, but I thought that maybe I would take the position and work my way into a ministry there. There is nothing wrong with a little humility. It did not go well with my father, though. After college and graduate school, I was a janitor! In the meanwhile, I still kept my eyes opened. I called the placement officer at my seminary, and he said that they did not get many requests from Assemblies of God churches. Apparently, the Assemblies of God is not that impressed with seminary graduates. In fact, they feel that the more education you have the less likely you are filled with the Holy Spirit. They prefer graduates from their own Bible colleges. Oops! I think I chose the wrong denomination. Also, I was still single. Protestant churches like their ministers to be married. But I waited. And I waited. I waited for two years. I was starting to feel it was not going to happen. I called the placement officer at my seminary and asked him to find me any church. It did not have to be an Assemblies of God. A month later he called back.
